ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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