Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize