70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
