she was so not down for the gang bang
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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