I want to make a zoo with you.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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