Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's blow job season.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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