If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The uberlube is also flammable
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
