"it" just moved
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
