Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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