She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
