I'm gonna have a badass scar
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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