Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
