you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
