Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
