Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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