Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
