Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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