Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
