Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Found your dick twin last night
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
