At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
