so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize