just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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