I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
