My room smells like vodka and shame
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize