Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
