this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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