dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
