omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
In other news, I just burned my penis
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I pour the whiskey from now on
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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