haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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