sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
