The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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