I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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