hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So many bounce houses so little time
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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