Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
