so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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