I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
