Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
