pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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