No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
