Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i love accidental penises.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
