well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
