East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
