I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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