Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
