spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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