I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Even my vagina gasped.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
