Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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