he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have fence marks all over my body
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
