need another drink. this is the easiest way
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
