You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
