remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Sext me about skeletons
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize