I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
