Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
there is glitter all over my balls
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
