We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
These tits shall not be calmed
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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