well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
