You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
