dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
